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  • Writer's pictureHope In Christ

The first C: Chemical Attraction

How to Choose a Mate

Have you ever wondered how to know you were on the right track, or looking for the right signs when it came to finding that one special person to share your life and to build a home and family?

If you listen to those who want you to believe they know the answers because they seem to be having the most fun and excitement in their lives, you might find yourself on a deceptive track.

It sounds something like this: “He or She has to be hot to look at! That is first…you don’t want to be hooked up with a looser, what would your friends think. He / She has to turn you on and keep you burning, at least for a while. And when the fire goes out, don’t stick…you are supposed to be happy. Isn’t that what ‘God’ or the Cosmos wants for you? Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship with someone that can’t meet your needs. If you have to make a vow in a ceremony … let it be ‘as long as we both shall love’. Forget that ‘til death does us part’ stuff.”

In this short philosophical statement we see the basic premise of choosing, that the world and worldly want you to believe, CHEMISTRY. Yes, those thoughts seem more male than female, but in reality when it comes to LUST (‘get all I can, can what I get, and sit on the can or empty it and fill it again’) aren’t they basically the same for both. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a part of the plan, and chemical attraction is essential, or you wouldn’t be interested, but it is only one of at least ten signs that point to real fulfillment. CHEMICAL ATTRACTION is what makes us look deeper. I know it is hard to believe, but physical attractiveness is not enough. By the way, attraction is much more than looks it includes personality and temperament. This often is where the lies and injuries of the past will rise up and blur our vision and reasoning. We will think that this person is what I ‘need’ to make me complete or whole, or protect me from being hurt or ‘make me somebody’ in my peer’s eyes. This never works, even if it seems to for a period of time. No person can meet all of your needs or heal your hurts, they are simply not equipped!

The warmth of a ‘heart’ stirred to longing and admiration can be the beginnings of real love or just the glow of infatuation. When we look deeper into the person we begin to experience a reality check that either draws us further along the journey of discovery or raises concerns and warns us to hesitate and explore. So, you are attracted! What next? Look Deeper for the next C.

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