The Second C in Choosing a Mate: Character
You need to look for the signs of real character or their lack.
For the woman looking for a potential husband: Does he respect women in general; his mother, sisters, friends and co -workers, and most of all does he respects you by the way he talks and how he acts? Is he protective of their reputations and never puts them in a position of compromise or exposure by revealing their faults in public, or taking advantage of their (your) vulnerabilities for selfish gain. Does he allow others to speak in a vulgar manner in your presence or does he remove you or call them on their behavior? Does he obey the law, or does he believe ‘you are only guilty if you get caught breaking it, and can’t get out of it’. In other words, is he honest when no one is looking? Does he have genuine concern for others wellbeing, and put them before himself? Is he willing to sacrifice his comforts in order to meet his responsibilities as a man? Does he admit when he is wrong and does the right thing to make restitution, or does he blame and make excuses when the wrong is exposed?
For the man looking for a potential wife: Does she respect men in general; her father, brothers, boss, co-workers, friends, and most of all does she respect you by the way she dresses, looking nice but not provocative, and by the way she acts... caring but not needy, showing genuine interest, but not flattering, enjoying your presence, but not possessive of your time by jealousy or neediness. Does she offer to serve others or does she expect others to serve her and her needs? Does she show genuine concern for others wellbeing and is willing to go the extra mile for the benefit of someone else? Is she more interested in acquiring things or is she content with what she has, not in a defeatist mind-set, but in a peaceful and hopeful attitude? Does she acknowledge you and respectfully listen to your ideas, hopes and dreams without an attitude of competition or a demand for inclusion or critical analysis?
There are so many more character attributes that really are applicable to both genders, to put it in a picture form: does he or she look and act confident without boasting, because they know who they are, warts and halos, and they allow people to be who they are without passing final judgment.
Many non-Christian and proponents of other religions can display these characteristics at times, but with the stressors of life they will begin to wear down and the true nature of the person will show through. That is why early in this relationship you must look for the next most important C.